After catching up on my words last week, even leaping ahead by a whopping 250 words, I am once again behind in my NaNo. Seriously behind. This is what happens when you don’t write for three days in a row.
I have no one to blame but myself. I let myself fall into one of those funks where I’m doubting every word I write and wondering why I’m wasting my time. I know what should go in there, I just can’t seem to get it from my head to the keyboard. I’ve become seriously un-motivated.
Friday I just wasn’t “feeling” it, and let myself be distracted by other things. I tried working on something else for a while but although I got lots done on that project, I wasn’t any more stirred to get working on my NaNo.
Saturday I still couldn’t get into it, even though my friends Jamie and Heidi helped me come up with a name for a villain. I thought maybe a reading break was in order, so I read a romantic thriller, but afterwards I was no more motivated than I was before.
Sunday I started to have self-doubts about my story. I liked the beginning and the ending well enough, it’s just the stuff in the middle was turning out darker than I’d expected. So my characters stepped up and my MMC thought maybe he should tell the girl he’s an undercover agent, and my FMC decided to let me in on her back story as to why she got into writing erotica in the first place and her own sordid past. However, the bulk of my day was taken up by the Santa Claus parade and by the time dinner was over I remembered that I had posts to write for Monday.
Yesterday I finally started to hit my stride again, but I’m going to have to really lengthen that stride if I’m going to catch up.
Today is the halfway point of NaNo and I’m about 6,000 words behind.
I’ll keep plugging away and we’ll see what happens. Completing NaNo at this point is really more a question of concentration and motivation than anything else, and right now I’m seriously lacking in both. And boy doesn’t that line give me a sense of déjà vu.