Humour For Tuesday

Today's humour is dedicated to all you programmers out there. And you Poe fans too. :-)

No, I didn't write this and unfortunately the website I originally found this on is now defunct so I can't credit the genius who did come up with this. It's a little dated - kids today probably don't even know what a floppy disk is - and I'm sure I've shared this before, but it still tickles my funny bone.


Poe on the PC

Once upon a midnight dreary,
Fingers cramped and vision bleary,
System manuals piled high
and wasted paper on the floor,
Longing for the warmth of bed sheets.
Having reached the bottom line,
I took a floppy from the drawer.
Typing with a steady hand,
I then invoked the SAVE command;
But got instead a reprimand:
It read, “Abort, Retry, Ignore.”

Was this some occult illusion?
Some maniacal intrusion?
These were choices Solomon
had never faced before.
Carefully I weighed the options,
These three seemed to be the top ones,
Clearly, I must now adopt one:
Choose Abort, Retry, Ignore.

With my fingers pale and trembling,
Slowly toward the keyboard bending,
Longing for a happy ending,
hoping all would be restored.
Praying for some guarantee
Finally I pressed a key –
But on the screen what did I see?
Again: Abort, Retry, Ignore.

I tried to catch the chips off guard –
I pressed again, but twice as hard,
Luck was just not in the cards.
I saw what I had seen before.
Now I typed in desperation,
Trying random combinations.
Still there came the incantation:
Choose Abort, Retry, Ignore.

There I sat, distraught, exhausted,
By my own machine accosted.
Getting up I turned away
and paced across the office floor.
And then I saw an awful sight:
A bold and blinding flash of light –
A lightning bolt had cut the night
and shook me to my very core.
I saw the screen collapse and die.
“NO, NO, my database!” I cried.
I thought I heard a voice reply,
“You’ll see your data NEVERMORE!”

To this day I do not know
The place to which lost data goes.
I bet it goes to heaven where
the angels have it stored.
But as for productivity, well . . .
I fear that it goes straight to hell.
And that is the tale I have to tell.
Your choice:
ABORT, RETRY, IGNORE.