Metaphrase Monday

metaphrase ~ turning of prose into verse or vice versa

The big excitement last week was buying a new mattress cover. I know, exciting stuff right? Wait until you hear the whole story.

The salesman said I’d want to run it through the washing machine before I used it, which only made sense, but then he asked if there was a plain spin cycle on the washer because it might need to be spun a couple of times.

What he meant to say was, if you don’t have a cycle that spins only instead of rinsing and spinning, you’re screwed. Also, you might want to unzip it and wash the padded part separately from the protective layer.

In my defense, I didn’t look at the picture that closely, so I didn’t realize it had a zipper and didn’t figure it out until after I’d washed it and took it out of the washer, giving myself a bath in the process. The padded part had spun dry(ish) but the smooth protective layer had not. And also in my defense, I read the washing instructions and it just said wash in warm water and dry on low heat, nothing about separating layers. In retrospect, that's probably why it separates.

So, not having a clothes line, I hung the padded part over the upstairs railing and left the sopping protective layer in the washer to attempt to spin some of that excess water out. It took me about three tries to get the setting right so it didn’t add water, but at last I got it to just spin. Twice.

The result was still a little too wet to hang over the rail, so seeing as it was sunny out and breezy, I cleaned up four of the chairs on the patio and hung it over the back of them to dry au naturelle. The protector was fitted and fit right over the backs of the chairs. Just to be sure it didn’t blow away I also attached clips to the backs of the chair to keep it in place. It billowed like the sails on a schooner, but it was dry in no time.

I tell you, it's just more excitement than we can handle around here!