Mar 17, 2010

Whimsical Wednesday

DOG RULES

1. The dog is not allowed in the house!
2. Okay, the dog is allowed in the house, but only in certain rooms.
3. The dog is allowed in all rooms, but has to stay off the furniture.
4. The dog can get on the OLD furniture only.
5. Fine, the dog is allowed on all the furniture, but is not allowed to sleep with the humans on the bed.
6. All right, the dog is allowed on the bed, but ONLY by invitation.
7. The dog can sleep on the bed whenever he wants, but NOT under the covers.
8. The dog can sleep under the covers by invitation ONLY.
9. The dog can sleep under the covers every night.
10. Humans must ask permission to sleep under the covers with the dog.

HOW DOGS AND MEN ARE THE SAME
Both take up too much space on the bed.
Both have irrational fears about vacuum cleaning.
Both mark their territory.
Neither tells you what's bothering them.
The smaller ones tend to be more nervous.
Neither does any dishes.
Both fart shamelessly.
Neither of them notice when you get your hair cut.
Both like dominance games.
Both are suspicious of the postman.
Neither understands what you see in cats.

HOW DOGS ARE BETTER THAN MEN
Dogs do not have problems expressing affection in public.
Dogs miss you when you're gone.
Dogs feel guilty when they've done something wrong.
Dogs admit when they're jealous.
Dogs are very direct about wanting to go out.
Dogs do not play games with you-except fetch (and they never laugh at how you throw).
You can train a dog.
Dogs are easy to buy for.
The worst social disease you can get from dogs is fleas. (OK, the really worst disease you can get from them is rabies, but there's a vaccine for it and you can kill the one that gives it to you).
Dogs understand what "no" means.
Dogs mean it when they kiss you.

5 comments:

Jamie D. said...

LOL - the Dog Rules crack me up. Ours aren't allowed in the bedroom or basement, and we do stick with those. Otherwise, anything goes. I'm pretty laid back about dog hair... :-)

Hayley said...

Oh these are so cute, and funny, my mastif is just like this. Except he's not a kissy dog. And he doesn't shed all that much, thankfully.

C R Ward said...

Jamie: My boss has the dog rules posted on the fridge at work. :-)

Hayley: We had a border collie that shed like crazy, we had drifts of hair in our house. :-)

ralfast said...

I love dogs, especially German Shepherds, but I like cats too.

Go figure!

C R Ward said...

I've always had both cats and dogs. Growing up it was German Shepherds (my favorite) and after getting married it was a mixed breed and then a Border Collie. The only reason we don't have a dog right now is because no one's home during the day and the cats said "No!"

The most animals I've had at the same time are: one dog, three rats, and five cats. :-)