You all look like you could use a smile today so I dug deep to find some funnies for you. Blame spring for the content. :-)
And Jamie, I swear I did not change the city name in the first one!
A retired man went into the Job Center in Downtown Denver and saw a card
advertising for a Gynecologist's Assistant. Interested, he went in and asked
the clerk for details.
The clerk pulled up the file and read; "The job entails getting the ladies ready for
the gynecologist. You have to help the women out of their underwear, lay them
down and carefully wash their private regions, then apply shaving foam and
gently shave off the hair, then rub in soothing oils so they're ready for the
The annual salary is $65,000, and you'll have to go to Billings , MT. That's about
550 miles from here."
"Good grief, is that where the job is?"
"No sir. That's where the end of the line is right now."
Judy and Ted got married and had 13 children.
Then Ted died of Heart Disease.
She married again, and she & Bob had 7 more children.
Bob was killed in a car accident, 12 years later.
Again Judy remarried, and this time she & John had 5 more children.
Judy finally died, after having 25 children.
Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed for her.
He thanked the Lord for this very loving woman and said,
"Lord, they are finally together."
Ethel leaned over and quietly asked her best friend, Margaret:
"Margaret, do you think he means her 1st, 2nd, or 3rd husband?"
Margaret replied: "I think he means her legs, Ethel..."