This one is short, but funny, and came to me via the son-in-law. :-)
Father Norton woke up Sunday morning and realizing it was an exceptionally beautiful and sunny early spring day, decided he just had to play golf. So...he told the Associate Pastor that he was feeling sick and persuaded him to say Mass for him that day. As soon as the Associate Pastor left the room, Father Norton headed out of town to a golf course about forty miles away. This way he knew he wouldn't accidentally meet anyone he knew from his parish.
Setting up on the first tee, he was alone. After all, it was Sunday morning and everyone else was in church!
At about this time, Saint Peter leaned over to the Lord while looking down from the heavens and exclaimed, "You're not going to let him get away with this, are you?"
The Lord sighed, and said, "No, I guess not."
Just then Father Norton hit the ball and it shot straight towards the pin, dropping just short of it, rolled up and fell into the hole. IT WAS A 420 YARD HOLE IN ONE!
St. Peter was astonished. He looked at the Lord and asked, "Why did you let him do that?"
The Lord smiled and replied, "Who's he going to tell?"
Sep 30, 2009
Sep 29, 2009
Really Random
First, some little facts:
Kittens can clock an amazing 31 mph at full speed and cover about 3 times their body length per leap.
The human brain continues sending out electrical wave signals for up to 37 hours following death.
An average bee hive has 30,000 to 60,000 bees living in it. This population is easily maintained by a queen laying 1,000 to 3,000 eggs per day.
Elephants and short-tailed shrews get by on only two hours of sleep a day.
Roulette was invented by the great French mathematician and philosopher Blaise Pascal. It was a by product of his experiments with perpetual motion.
* * * * * * * * * *
How much is your body worth? You're worth more than you think!
A great number of people have spent a great deal of human and financial resources calculating the composition of, prior to the decomposition of, and the worth, or worthlessness of, the human body.
When we total the monetary value of the elements in our bodies and the value of the average person's skin, we arrive at a net worth of $4.50!
This value is, however, subject to change, due to stock market fluctuations. Since the studies leading to this conclusion were conducted by the U.S. and by Japan respectively, it might be wise to consult the New York Stock Exchange and the Nikkei Index before deciding when to sell!
The U.S. Bureau of Chemistry and Soils invested many a hard-earned tax dollar in calculating the chemical and mineral composition of the human body, which breaks down as follows:
65% Oxygen
18% Carbon
10% Hydrogen
3% Nitrogen
1.5% Calcium
1% Phosphorous
0.35% Potassium
0.25% Sulfur
0.15% Sodium
0.15% Chlorine
0.05% Magnesium
0.0004% Iron
0.00004% Iodine
Additionally, it was discovered that our bodies contain trace quantities of fluorine, silicon, manganese, zinc, copper, aluminum, and arsenic. Together, all of the above amounts to less than one dollar!
Our most valuable asset is our skin, which the Japanese invested their time and money in measuring. The method the Imperial State Institute for Nutrition at Tokyo developed for measuring the amount of a person's skin is to take a naked person, and to apply a strong, thin paper to every surface of his body. After the paper dries, they carefully remove it, cut it into small pieces, and painstakingly total the person's measurements. Cut and dried, the average person is the proud owner of fourteen to eighteen square feet of skin, with the variables in this figure being height, weight, and breast size. Basing the skin's value on the selling price of cowhide, which is approximately $.25 per square foot, the value of an average person's skin is about $3.50.
So now you know! :-)
Kittens can clock an amazing 31 mph at full speed and cover about 3 times their body length per leap.
The human brain continues sending out electrical wave signals for up to 37 hours following death.
An average bee hive has 30,000 to 60,000 bees living in it. This population is easily maintained by a queen laying 1,000 to 3,000 eggs per day.
Elephants and short-tailed shrews get by on only two hours of sleep a day.
Roulette was invented by the great French mathematician and philosopher Blaise Pascal. It was a by product of his experiments with perpetual motion.
* * * * * * * * * *
How much is your body worth? You're worth more than you think!
A great number of people have spent a great deal of human and financial resources calculating the composition of, prior to the decomposition of, and the worth, or worthlessness of, the human body.
When we total the monetary value of the elements in our bodies and the value of the average person's skin, we arrive at a net worth of $4.50!
This value is, however, subject to change, due to stock market fluctuations. Since the studies leading to this conclusion were conducted by the U.S. and by Japan respectively, it might be wise to consult the New York Stock Exchange and the Nikkei Index before deciding when to sell!
The U.S. Bureau of Chemistry and Soils invested many a hard-earned tax dollar in calculating the chemical and mineral composition of the human body, which breaks down as follows:
65% Oxygen
18% Carbon
10% Hydrogen
3% Nitrogen
1.5% Calcium
1% Phosphorous
0.35% Potassium
0.25% Sulfur
0.15% Sodium
0.15% Chlorine
0.05% Magnesium
0.0004% Iron
0.00004% Iodine
Additionally, it was discovered that our bodies contain trace quantities of fluorine, silicon, manganese, zinc, copper, aluminum, and arsenic. Together, all of the above amounts to less than one dollar!
Our most valuable asset is our skin, which the Japanese invested their time and money in measuring. The method the Imperial State Institute for Nutrition at Tokyo developed for measuring the amount of a person's skin is to take a naked person, and to apply a strong, thin paper to every surface of his body. After the paper dries, they carefully remove it, cut it into small pieces, and painstakingly total the person's measurements. Cut and dried, the average person is the proud owner of fourteen to eighteen square feet of skin, with the variables in this figure being height, weight, and breast size. Basing the skin's value on the selling price of cowhide, which is approximately $.25 per square foot, the value of an average person's skin is about $3.50.
So now you know! :-)
Sep 28, 2009
Rainy Days and Mondays . . .
Bah! I’m sitting here looking out my office window and the wind and rain are making it so dark that I have to have the light on to see what I’m doing. Could be worse, the power could be out like it is in the West end of town, or it could have rained yesterday while the BFF and I were at Word on the Street, which is an open air Literary festival held in Queen’s Park in Toronto.
To read more about our adventures in Toronto, go HERE
Is it just me or did last week fly by at warp speed? Every time I turned around I seemed to be down to the wire for something. First it was Tuesday, when I had to get a poem finished for my poetry group. Inspiration didn’t strike until just before supper, so I was composing while eating and printing while getting my shoes on to go.
Wednesday I found the poem for the Ottava Rima post particularly elusive, and then Thursday, just when I thought I could catch some slack, my turn for the blog chain came up so I had to get something written for that. The only thing that didn’t catch me by surprise was the chapter for Space Opera, which was all ready to go.
I wonder how much of a difference it will make now that I’m back to afternoon classes this week?
RECAP
Last week’s goals were: serial and extra chapters, Ottava Rima, poemwork, poems for extra poetry posts, submission to poetry anthology, keep up with my journaling, book review, keep up to date with my writing for my writing prompt blog and reading
Did not get any extra chapters written for my serial. In fact, one may even say I regressed because I used the spare chapter I had for last week’s installment.
Poetry: got the Ottava Rima done, started the poems for the extra poetry posts, and submitted my poems for my poetry group’s anthology, although I waited until the eleventh hour to do it.
Fell off my journaling about half way through the week - I’m not really sure what happened there.
Did my writing prompts two whole days in a row :-)
Read a book and even posted a review about it this morning.
This Week’s Goals:
This week’s poetry goal is to finish the two poems I started for the extra posts and this week’s poetry form will be the Dorsimbra, which I may live to regret. :-)
Make a concentrated effort to keep up with my journal and my writing prompts.
Get that book review post ready for the book review blog chain - I know what book I’m doing, I just need to get it done.
Read at least one new book a week. No more buying books until I have at least one of my “to be read” shelves cleared off. And what I mean by one shelf is one row on one shelf - most of my shelves are doubled up now.
And did I mention we start PowerPoint at school this week and were told there'd be lots of assignments and a project due next week?
So how's your week shaping up?
Edited to add: Oops! Work on Space Opera - This week's chapter plus an extra one. :-)
To read more about our adventures in Toronto, go HERE
Is it just me or did last week fly by at warp speed? Every time I turned around I seemed to be down to the wire for something. First it was Tuesday, when I had to get a poem finished for my poetry group. Inspiration didn’t strike until just before supper, so I was composing while eating and printing while getting my shoes on to go.
Wednesday I found the poem for the Ottava Rima post particularly elusive, and then Thursday, just when I thought I could catch some slack, my turn for the blog chain came up so I had to get something written for that. The only thing that didn’t catch me by surprise was the chapter for Space Opera, which was all ready to go.
I wonder how much of a difference it will make now that I’m back to afternoon classes this week?
RECAP
Last week’s goals were: serial and extra chapters, Ottava Rima, poemwork, poems for extra poetry posts, submission to poetry anthology, keep up with my journaling, book review, keep up to date with my writing for my writing prompt blog and reading
Did not get any extra chapters written for my serial. In fact, one may even say I regressed because I used the spare chapter I had for last week’s installment.
Poetry: got the Ottava Rima done, started the poems for the extra poetry posts, and submitted my poems for my poetry group’s anthology, although I waited until the eleventh hour to do it.
Fell off my journaling about half way through the week - I’m not really sure what happened there.
Did my writing prompts two whole days in a row :-)
Read a book and even posted a review about it this morning.
This Week’s Goals:
This week’s poetry goal is to finish the two poems I started for the extra posts and this week’s poetry form will be the Dorsimbra, which I may live to regret. :-)
Make a concentrated effort to keep up with my journal and my writing prompts.
Get that book review post ready for the book review blog chain - I know what book I’m doing, I just need to get it done.
Read at least one new book a week. No more buying books until I have at least one of my “to be read” shelves cleared off. And what I mean by one shelf is one row on one shelf - most of my shelves are doubled up now.
And did I mention we start PowerPoint at school this week and were told there'd be lots of assignments and a project due next week?
So how's your week shaping up?
Edited to add: Oops! Work on Space Opera - This week's chapter plus an extra one. :-)
Sep 25, 2009
Another Link in the Chain
Yes, that's right my friends, it's that time of month again. Time for the AW blogchain. And this means Chapter Seven of my serial is going to be pushed back to Saturday.
This month's blog chain is pretty cool. Each participant gets three words:
1. a name (of a character)
2. an action verb (eating, drinking etc)
3. a noun (knife, bag etc)
from the person before them and has to write a flash piece around those words. There has been some really awesome work so far from the following participants:
Fokker Aeroplanbau
Truelyana
RavenCorinnCarluk
Lost Wanderer
Aimeelaine
Claire Crossdale
bsolah
Angyl78
FreshHell
My three words, given to me by FreshHell, were: Julia, jumping, and juniper. And this is the story I came up with:
* * * * * * * * * *
Sorrow Thy Name is Woman
“Julia . . .” the wind whispered her name through the trees.
Julia stumbled and broke into a run again, or at least as much of a run as she could manage. Her clothes were in tatters, arms and legs scratched from fighting her way out of a patch of juniper where she’d tripped and fallen. God only knew what happened to her pack.
“Julia . . .”
Would this nightmare never end? Her breath caught on a sob and she pushed herself harder. She’d hoped to make the ranger station before dark but sheer panic had made her disoriented and now she was hopelessly lost. All she could do was keep moving.
“Julia . . .”
They tried to warn her about this forest, warned her to stay away, but she hadn’t listened. Instead she laughed, calling them superstitious fools, and loaded up her back pack for a prolonged hike. She wasn’t laughing anymore.
“Julia . . .”
Branches seemed to pluck at her, like they were sentient and trying to hold her back. For all she knew they were. There’d been something not right about this forest from the moment she’d stepped into it. If only she’d turned back when she’d had the chance, but no, she was too stubborn for that. She didn’t believe in superstition or psychic energy, she was too level-headed.
“Julia . . .”
The voice sounded louder. Was it getting closer? Oh, God, she was going to die here. She was going to die a horrible death and no one would ever know what happened to her. No one except those people in the village. This was all their fault! They goaded her into entering the forest, they deliberately teased and taunted with their stories. And now she was going to die because of them.
“Julia . . .”
Dusk was starting to fall. It was getting harder to see where she was going. Was that a break in the trees up ahead? A flicker of hope stirred in her breast.
“Julia . . .”
The trees parted abruptly and Julia grabbed hold of a tree trunk to keep from falling. Hopelessly she stared down into the ravine. Her breath came in sobbing gasps. There might be water in the bottom of the abyss, it was too dark to tell.
“Julia . . .”
Jumping wasn’t an option. Or was it?
* * * * * * * * * *
Next link in the chain is ealexis and my three words for you are: Rafael, falling, and tombstone.
Still to come are:
Crayonz
Razibahmed
Proach
Tara McClendon
MGraybosch
shethinkstoomuch
This month's blog chain is pretty cool. Each participant gets three words:
1. a name (of a character)
2. an action verb (eating, drinking etc)
3. a noun (knife, bag etc)
from the person before them and has to write a flash piece around those words. There has been some really awesome work so far from the following participants:
Fokker Aeroplanbau
Truelyana
RavenCorinnCarluk
Lost Wanderer
Aimeelaine
Claire Crossdale
bsolah
Angyl78
FreshHell
My three words, given to me by FreshHell, were: Julia, jumping, and juniper. And this is the story I came up with:
* * * * * * * * * *
Sorrow Thy Name is Woman
“Julia . . .” the wind whispered her name through the trees.
Julia stumbled and broke into a run again, or at least as much of a run as she could manage. Her clothes were in tatters, arms and legs scratched from fighting her way out of a patch of juniper where she’d tripped and fallen. God only knew what happened to her pack.
“Julia . . .”
Would this nightmare never end? Her breath caught on a sob and she pushed herself harder. She’d hoped to make the ranger station before dark but sheer panic had made her disoriented and now she was hopelessly lost. All she could do was keep moving.
“Julia . . .”
They tried to warn her about this forest, warned her to stay away, but she hadn’t listened. Instead she laughed, calling them superstitious fools, and loaded up her back pack for a prolonged hike. She wasn’t laughing anymore.
“Julia . . .”
Branches seemed to pluck at her, like they were sentient and trying to hold her back. For all she knew they were. There’d been something not right about this forest from the moment she’d stepped into it. If only she’d turned back when she’d had the chance, but no, she was too stubborn for that. She didn’t believe in superstition or psychic energy, she was too level-headed.
“Julia . . .”
The voice sounded louder. Was it getting closer? Oh, God, she was going to die here. She was going to die a horrible death and no one would ever know what happened to her. No one except those people in the village. This was all their fault! They goaded her into entering the forest, they deliberately teased and taunted with their stories. And now she was going to die because of them.
“Julia . . .”
Dusk was starting to fall. It was getting harder to see where she was going. Was that a break in the trees up ahead? A flicker of hope stirred in her breast.
“Julia . . .”
The trees parted abruptly and Julia grabbed hold of a tree trunk to keep from falling. Hopelessly she stared down into the ravine. Her breath came in sobbing gasps. There might be water in the bottom of the abyss, it was too dark to tell.
“Julia . . .”
Jumping wasn’t an option. Or was it?
* * * * * * * * * *
Next link in the chain is ealexis and my three words for you are: Rafael, falling, and tombstone.
Still to come are:
Crayonz
Razibahmed
Proach
Tara McClendon
MGraybosch
shethinkstoomuch
Sep 24, 2009
Ottava Rima
Ottava rima [ot-ahv-a-ree-ma] was a favorite verse form of the Italian Renaissance poets. It developed out of the troubadour tradition and was first popularized by Giovanni Boccaccio. Many of the great Italian epic poems used ottava rima, including Boiardo’s Orlando Innamorato, Pulci’s Morgante Maggiore, and Ariosto’s Orlando Furioso. Originally used for long poems on heroic themes, it also came to be popular in the writing of mock-heroic works.
In English, ottava rima first appeared in Elizabethan translations of Tasso and Ariosto. The form did not become popular for original works, and a section of William Browne's Britannia's Pastorals is the only known original work in the form that survives. The first English poet to write mock-heroic ottava rima was John Hookham Frere, whose 1817 poem Whistlecraft used the form to considerable effect.
Byron read Frere's work and saw the potential of the form. He quickly produced Beppo, his first poem to use the form. Shortly after this, Byron began working on his Don Juan (1819-1824), probably the best-known English poem in ottava rima. Byron also used the form for his Vision of Judgment (1822). Shelley translated the Homeric Hymns into English in ottava rima. In the 20th century, William Butler Yeats used the form, with half rhyme, in several of his best later poems, including "Sailing to Byzantium" and "Among School Children".
Outside of Italian and English, ottava rima has not been widely used, although the Spanish poets Boscan, Alonso de Ercilla y Zúñiga and Lope de Vega all experimented with it at one time or another. It is also the meter of several medieval Yiddish epic poems, such as the Bovo-Bukh (1507-1508), which were adaptations of Italian epics. In Russia, Pavel Katenin instigated a high-profile dispute on the proper way of translating Italian epics, which resulted in Alexander Pushkin's ottava rima poem "The Little House in Kolomna" (1830), which took its cue from Lord Byron's Beppo. Pushkin's poem opens with a lengthy tongue-in-cheek discussion of the merits of ottava rima.
The ottava rima stanza in English consists of eight lines, usually iambic pentameters. Each stanza consists of three alternate rhymes and one double rhyme, following the a-b-a-b-a-b-c-c pattern.
It takes advantage of the rhymed couplet at the conclusion of the stanza - because the final two lines rhyme, the last word of the stanza is highly anticipated. This is a perfect way to bring a long thought to a close. Often the first six lines will develop an idea which the final line will hammer home.
And now, my example:
GARGOYLE
He guards the world from his perch way up high
Remembering, perchance a simpler time
Remembering, perhaps, when he could fly
Before the magic began to decline;
The gods left, unworshiped without knowing why
And poets spent years perfecting a rhyme.
Forever he’s locked in sorrow by stone
and yet he’s done nothing for which to atone.
He remembers the Wild Hunt’s magical ride
And the dancers cavorting under the moon,
The circle of stones and the Green Man’s bride
The sacrifice made, begging a boon;
The ships that sailed with the evening tide
And the tales that would make a maiden swoon.
So much forgotten, so much that is lost.
The world still moves forward and yet at what cost?
In English, ottava rima first appeared in Elizabethan translations of Tasso and Ariosto. The form did not become popular for original works, and a section of William Browne's Britannia's Pastorals is the only known original work in the form that survives. The first English poet to write mock-heroic ottava rima was John Hookham Frere, whose 1817 poem Whistlecraft used the form to considerable effect.
Byron read Frere's work and saw the potential of the form. He quickly produced Beppo, his first poem to use the form. Shortly after this, Byron began working on his Don Juan (1819-1824), probably the best-known English poem in ottava rima. Byron also used the form for his Vision of Judgment (1822). Shelley translated the Homeric Hymns into English in ottava rima. In the 20th century, William Butler Yeats used the form, with half rhyme, in several of his best later poems, including "Sailing to Byzantium" and "Among School Children".
Outside of Italian and English, ottava rima has not been widely used, although the Spanish poets Boscan, Alonso de Ercilla y Zúñiga and Lope de Vega all experimented with it at one time or another. It is also the meter of several medieval Yiddish epic poems, such as the Bovo-Bukh (1507-1508), which were adaptations of Italian epics. In Russia, Pavel Katenin instigated a high-profile dispute on the proper way of translating Italian epics, which resulted in Alexander Pushkin's ottava rima poem "The Little House in Kolomna" (1830), which took its cue from Lord Byron's Beppo. Pushkin's poem opens with a lengthy tongue-in-cheek discussion of the merits of ottava rima.
The ottava rima stanza in English consists of eight lines, usually iambic pentameters. Each stanza consists of three alternate rhymes and one double rhyme, following the a-b-a-b-a-b-c-c pattern.
It takes advantage of the rhymed couplet at the conclusion of the stanza - because the final two lines rhyme, the last word of the stanza is highly anticipated. This is a perfect way to bring a long thought to a close. Often the first six lines will develop an idea which the final line will hammer home.
And now, my example:
GARGOYLE
He guards the world from his perch way up high
Remembering, perchance a simpler time
Remembering, perhaps, when he could fly
Before the magic began to decline;
The gods left, unworshiped without knowing why
And poets spent years perfecting a rhyme.
Forever he’s locked in sorrow by stone
and yet he’s done nothing for which to atone.
He remembers the Wild Hunt’s magical ride
And the dancers cavorting under the moon,
The circle of stones and the Green Man’s bride
The sacrifice made, begging a boon;
The ships that sailed with the evening tide
And the tales that would make a maiden swoon.
So much forgotten, so much that is lost.
The world still moves forward and yet at what cost?
Sep 23, 2009
Whimsical Wednesday
EVE'S SIDE OF THE STORY
After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve. "So, how is everything going?" inquired God.
"It is all so beautiful, God," she replied. "The sunrises and sunsets are breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything is wonderful, but I have just one problem."
"What is that?" God asked.
"It's these breasts You have given me. The middle one pushes the other two out and I am constantly knocking them with my arms, catching them on branches and snagging them on bushes. They're a real pain."
And Eve went on to tell God that since many other parts of her body came in pairs, such as her limbs, eyes, ears, etc. She felt that having only two breasts might leave her body more "symmetrically balanced".
"That's a fair point," replied God, "But it was My first shot at this, you know. I gave the animals six breasts, so I figured that you needed only half of those. But I see that you are right. I will fix it up right away."
And God reached down, removed the middle breast and tossed it into the bushes.
Three weeks passed and God once again visited Eve in the Garden of Eden.
" Well, Eve, how is My favorite creation?"
"Just fantastic," she replied, "But for one oversight. You see, all the animals are paired off. The ewe has a ram and the cow has her bull. All the animals have a mate except me. I feel so alone."
God thought for a moment and said, "You know, Eve, you are right. How could I have overlooked this? You do need a mate and I will immediately create a man from a part of you. Let's see....where did I put that Useless Tit?"
Now doesn't THAT make more sense than all that crap about the rib?
After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve. "So, how is everything going?" inquired God.
"It is all so beautiful, God," she replied. "The sunrises and sunsets are breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything is wonderful, but I have just one problem."
"What is that?" God asked.
"It's these breasts You have given me. The middle one pushes the other two out and I am constantly knocking them with my arms, catching them on branches and snagging them on bushes. They're a real pain."
And Eve went on to tell God that since many other parts of her body came in pairs, such as her limbs, eyes, ears, etc. She felt that having only two breasts might leave her body more "symmetrically balanced".
"That's a fair point," replied God, "But it was My first shot at this, you know. I gave the animals six breasts, so I figured that you needed only half of those. But I see that you are right. I will fix it up right away."
And God reached down, removed the middle breast and tossed it into the bushes.
Three weeks passed and God once again visited Eve in the Garden of Eden.
" Well, Eve, how is My favorite creation?"
"Just fantastic," she replied, "But for one oversight. You see, all the animals are paired off. The ewe has a ram and the cow has her bull. All the animals have a mate except me. I feel so alone."
God thought for a moment and said, "You know, Eve, you are right. How could I have overlooked this? You do need a mate and I will immediately create a man from a part of you. Let's see....where did I put that Useless Tit?"
Now doesn't THAT make more sense than all that crap about the rib?
Sep 22, 2009
Random Math
Here is a little something someone sent me that is indisputable mathematical logic.
This is a strictly mathematical viewpoint...it goes like this:
What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?
Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:
If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.
Then:
H-A -R -D-W-O -R -K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%
and
K -N -O -W-L -E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5
= 96%
But ,
A-T -T -I -T -U -D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%
And,
B -U -L -L -S -H-I -T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%
AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.
A-S -S -K -I -S-S -I -N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7
= 118%
So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty, that While Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, its the Bullshit and Ass Kissing that will put you over the top.
'REMEMBER SOME PEOPLE ARE ALIVE SIMPLY BECAUSE IT IS ILLEGAL TO SHOOT THEM'
This is a strictly mathematical viewpoint...it goes like this:
What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?
Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:
If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.
Then:
H-A -R -D-W-O -R -K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%
and
K -N -O -W-L -E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5
= 96%
But ,
A-T -T -I -T -U -D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%
And,
B -U -L -L -S -H-I -T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%
AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.
A-S -S -K -I -S-S -I -N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7
= 118%
So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty, that While Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, its the Bullshit and Ass Kissing that will put you over the top.
'REMEMBER SOME PEOPLE ARE ALIVE SIMPLY BECAUSE IT IS ILLEGAL TO SHOOT THEM'
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)